I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
