Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
