I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
