it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
