made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
