My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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