he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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