I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
