I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
