what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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