Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We need to get me chipped asap
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
