Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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