she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
