I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
