i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
