I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
