i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
