So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
