Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
