just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
