Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i believe in u and ur pee
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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