But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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