I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
