So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
