Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
