Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
