We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
