trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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