ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
