I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
