Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I need to stop coming to work sober
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
