HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
