I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
