Are we in a gay sports bar?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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