You really coming over, don't trick.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
