May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
