I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
