So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
