who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
