Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I need a beard to bite.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
