the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
