Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
