I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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