my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
