so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
