so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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