brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i already hear my dad disowning me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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