Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
