Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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