He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
