come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How's work?
Spinning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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