um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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